The Spouter-Inn, also known as Ch. 3

by Buxton Brown

The spout. I assumed a whales spout, a blow hole, but felt unsure so I took to the greatest encyclopedia I know. A little google action brings us to, obviously, the urban dictionary. A couple of notable definitions come up here, and I think they are worth sharing.

1) Up the Spout- Scottish slang for pregnant. It comes with this contextual gem.

This is not a food baby. I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests and I am fo’ shizz up the spout.

What I want to know is, what Scotsman says “fo’ shizz?” Also, see food baby.

2) Also British for something that has gone awry.

Tony Blair has gone up the spout.

3) For the grand finale, AMURIKA! Up the spout means to




The Glock-17 holds 16 rounds: 15 in the magasine and 1 up the spout.

So if I understand correctly, what the English speaking world means when the words “up the spout” are uttered, it’s that a woman has been impregnated, shits obviously fucked up, and it is now time to make sure this gun not only has ammo, but that there is one in the chamber ready for the killing. Who’s getting shot? Baby Daddy? The less we ask, the better. Remember kiddos, no glove no love. That way, there shall be no need for discussions of spouts and what is up in them… or coming out of them.

Oh yea, also, Ishmael arrives at said Inn, the Spouter Inn. It is what you would expect a 19th century whalers Inn to be; occupied, cold, and full of unsavory characters. Also,  a harpooning cannibal named Queequeg, who, we shall later find, makes an ever so charming bedfellow.